You stare at the patty for quite a while, thinking through all of the possibilities of what could happen if you eat it raw. You could throw up, have really bad diarrhea, be sick for days, or possibly even die. Or it might just taste unpleasant.
Meh, whatever. You pick up the patty, shrug, and throw it down the hatch. As expected, it tastes awful, like the time you found that three month old cup of chocolate milk in the back of the refrigerator, but not quite as bad as that. You do your best to keep it down, though. Food is food, and ordering a pizza meant having to interact with the delivery guy.
After a while, an onslaught of severe stomach pains throws you from your couch and onto the floor. You feel clammy and your vision quickly starts fading in and out.
Oh, look, pretty stars.
That patty! There was something seriously wrong with it, and now it's taking its toll. You knew you never should've eaten that thing raw. But it's too late to change that now.
You pull your phone out of your pocket to dial 911, but it's dead. Lovely.
Maybe the neighbors, whom you've never even met before, are home. You scream at the top of your lungs, but only a ragged groan comes out. If you weren't in horrible pain, you would've been laughing at how stupid you sounded.
There's no response, and your body's going into convulsions. The disgusting taste of vomit reaches your tongue, so maybe you just need to throw up and that'll be the end of that. But you don't want to mess up the carpet, and the bathroom's right there. If you pull yourself together, you should be able to get to the toilet in time. But, then again, that involves work.
>> Yell, roll over, and die?